The science of life…

architecture-bali-clouds-1646870After being cautious for a long time our defensive nature somehow become a part of our personalities and it’s hard to say that is it an adopted habit for protecting yourself from harms and hurts or it is just simply you.. a part of you.. we become what we eventually  trying to protect yourself from… with time.. from a long time… Eventually we become what we are running from.. and this change break a part of us.. break what we are.. who we are.. it separates us from our individualness what we are… We change we break we arise we change.. and we make a hope rise this won’t happen again… And we break… we sit.. we arise again.. and we change… Things change.. somehow I became a person which is a totally different person from me, that I who start is all in first… who choose a path to walk on.. there no safer version of getting along with this path without being in this process of breaking up your soul… harmed… Shattered.. being in pieces and being in a totally different color from where we start… It hurts it hurts a lot… Being skinned.. it hurts.. our life is how capable we are in being manageable in coping with it.. accepting it is the only option we left with.. and it hurt being an option less person.. were you just have to… Be something.. do something because you don’t have something in order to change… You don’t have the option to choose.. not even an option to choose how you gonna suffer from that pain for the rest of your life… it’s unfair.. being human it’s unfair to not have any option left.


Things never change in my life: #1 Fear of exam.

hello to everyone!!! 

I choose to share my experiences of the past with a better point of view of present and connect them to a very common theoretical psychological aspect which is totally my opinion. Am like 24 now, very good subject to mature adult society. Most often I always keep a confident spark on my face whether am feeling like it or not, but its true a false assumption of being confident does help, it works for me tho. But the most stressful play of confidence for me when I have to face situation asking for my caliber whether it’s on a theoretical base in exams or in a practical base like an interview. I still scared of exams, fear of not able to prove yourself. Fear of being judged, being judged when am not me. Fear of failure, failure of failing to prove people around me who I really am. T

woman dark eye spooky

Photo by Rene Asmussen on

his fear is so strong in me till date I try every possible thing to avoid in this situation which seems like an exam from life, career, friends, family, every person who seem better than me scare me of falling to prove them who I AM. I will keep working on my fight with this fear, a slow deep battle is always there in me to defeat this fear of failure I think its just not strong enough to win yet.

The law of attraction.

art attractive beautiful beauty
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Hi! This is my very first time writing something to express myself to people. Hope for well. As an individual, I think we all always fear to be not like to become into a particular person in our lives and eventually at a point we are the same person we are running from. It took me a long time to analyze and accept that I am what am running from. I always say things to myself as I will never do what she does, I will never behave like this in any situation, I will never speak like her with anyone. But yesterday I realize am just like her I panic like her, I behave in certain situations like her and even my life’s basic concept is also similar to her and after all this time when I was thinking am better than her, am not. Am like the second version of her. This was my fear all throughout my life to not to be like her and eventually, I ended up just like her. Things you fear the most they got attracted to you the most.